For those just finishing school I recommend reading this. Coming from my confused journey that appeared to have no direction and no plan I have finally found who I am and what I am going to do forever. It took me 4 years which can seem like a long time but trust me it goes quick! And you need not to stress about your confused pathway for life because eventually you figure it out! You wake up one day and go FUCK IT I am going to leap into the deep end and give it a red hot crack.
It was a simple comment by an old friend I ran into at a wedding I was shooting that sparked the inspiration for this blog... That and my Instagram followers voted for this over my blog idea about second shooing haha
"Wow I'm glad to see your actually doing what you said you were going to do in school" This was said to me as I walked up to an old friend from High School to say hello. Instantly the past 4 years flashed back through my head like a smack to the head. This comment will probably stick with me forever but at the same time it's made me think back on the past four years and what I have actually been doing with my life and what took me so long to grow some lady balls and start doing what I actually always wanted to do regardless of the consequences both good and bad!
So as I lay in bed on this rainy night whilst my dog barks at the pestering cat at the window I type out my story. The story of a journey.. My journey since finishing school.
It begins with an unsure mind. Throughout school I was always the "artsy" kid. And in fact as well as myself a lot of other people thought I would have an "artsy" career (and believe me it turns out that way but at the start of adulthood I couldn't see this in my future). But as many of us know the art industry is a large scaled one that can be difficult to enter without some sort of publicity stunt like shredding a million dollar painting at an auction (Banksy) and at 17 I was so unsure what direction I wanted to take! I had always been interested in photography and thanks to my parents they had just bought me my first camera. A hard working canon 700D. I used it for hobby shots here and there but never really appreciated the art I was creating and doubted I'd ever make it anywhere in photography. So with that dream short lived I sold my camera for some extra cash and accepted an offer for a 4 year Pharmacy course in Armidale. Not exactly the path I wanted to take so a few weeks after getting into the course I deferred it for a year.
One year and later and I had been out of school for a year!! Still working at KFC, painting custom canvas art on the side for extra cash and babysitting. Where the fuck did that year go? It was time for me to decide.... Do I leave my now husband for 4 years and pass a course leading me to a decent paying job or do I stay working at KFC hoping that the two of us stay together and live our lives as a happy couple? ... I stayed! I couldn't bare leaving Jacob even though it had only been maybe 1 year we were mad for each other and I just couldn't do it. I also had no interest in being a Pharmicist.
So with that said I continued to work at KFC and now the Diggers club in Singleton. Now 2 years since school and I had stopped making art all together and just focussed on getting paid each week. Not really a fun start to adulthood. I mean who says adulthood means work and bills? Adulthood should be discovering what you want to be and making that happen. I still has no clue so one day shortly after a family friend had left to join the army I thought I would do the same thing. So after talking about it with my family and Jacob I booked my interview. It came to the day before my interview. I set an alarm for 5:30am as I had to be in Newcastle by 7am for an interview. Something was ticking in the back of my brain... Tick... Tick... Tick... "I am so unsure". I didn't want to go into this unsure I needed to know I wanted it. So sure enough I got up at 5:30am to get myself ready and leave and that damn ticking was still there. So I went back to bed. Missed my appointment and gave that dream a miss.
3 years since school... I am currently working in an office for a local building company full time and whilst I did love my job and who I worked with I was never excited by the day to day tasks and didn't enjoy the fact I went from a size 8 to a size 14 due sitting 8 hours a day 5 days a week while the office was always stocked with lollies. But I stuck with it because I felt like I had no where else to go but I did appreciate the job as it showed me that admin was not for me. I took some time off and travelled with Jacob through Europe where as many of you know he proposed to me just on top of the Eiffel tower!
We had just gotten engaged and at the end of the year made an offer on our first home which got accepted and we moved into in the 4th year since leaving school (we will get to that next). It was in august of 2017 that I threw all my doubt and worries out the window and said fuck it I am taking my life by the balls and showing it who is boss. So with my big brief case full of courage in one hand and a metaphorical bottle of tequila in the other I emailed a company asking to become a second shooter. I was offered some work experience which I am always going to be sooooo thankful for as I was taught what the right camera gear to buy was and how to shot weddings. This was my leap into the deep end. After that I began to do some work for this company and still do on the off occasion. For those of you who don't know what a second shooter is, it's literally a second photographer whom attends an event such as a wedding and captures all the 'candid' shots as well as all the shots the primary photographer may not have the chance to snap.
So with a shopping list I buy my first professional camera. My baby 5D Mark IV and in my collection of lenses a 50mm f/1.8, 35mm f/1.4 and 85mm f/1.2 along with a heap of batteries and memory cards.
I also decided whilst I'm at it I will start my own business! So I started shooting for free just to make a portfolio and before I knew it I was booking clients!
Okay the 4th year. This year. 2018. What a cracker of a year! We moved into our home in February! I started a new job at the end of February to help support the photography business start up and we got married in September as well as continue to blog, post and photograph all sorts of events!! I am still currently a second shooter as well as a business owner. And as we get closer to the end of 2018 I begin to appreciate the topsy turvy journey I have taken in order to get here right now and say "I am sure" and "I know what I am doing". Although none of us ever really know what we are doing or where we are headed at least I can feel as though theres a light pointing me in the directions I need to take.
And who knows maybe the next 4 years will be completely different. Maybe I won't be a photographer... Maybe I'll be a writer or a fitness guru (lol never I love KFC too much). Who can really tell what our future holds. But from the wise mind of my Mother "we choose our destiny".
So from one sad, confused and slightly lost girl who is now certain and defines herself by her passions and beliefs I bid you all goodnight or good day which ever time you may be reading this and I hope I have shed some light on your own journey should you be a little lost in the stereotype of adulthood. Remember be true to yourself and follow that calling you have. Don't grow up to work and pay bills because you will NEVER be happy.
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